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April 28 2017


It’s early in the morning and nobody will probably read this but I just had the greatest ‘humans are space orcs’ idea

Imagine if humans are the only species that experiences impatience.

Think about it. Most prey animals are extremely patient. Ever meet a deer or a rabbit in the woods and hold still to try and out-wait the thing? I can guarantee your brain starts sending bored bored bored messages very quickly, and your instincts start telling you to give up and find something else to do. Humans can do the patience thing- as evidenced by our endurance hunting methods- but our instincts tell us not to. Correct me if I’m wrong, but this feels like a predator development. I have the idea that if aliens are mostly prey-based, and we’re predator-based, then the aliens will be very patient and we just aren’t.

As an evolutionary development, being impatient can be brilliant. It means that we didn’t sit around and wait for the ice caps to warm up, we knew we didn’t have the technology to survive that level of cold, but we did it anyways. We were trying to send people into the sky and then into space before we had fully figured it all out, simply because we didn’t want to wait and think it out, we wanted SPACE and we wanted it NOW. And personally, I tend to be extremely productive and inventive when I’m feeling impatient. Mechanic is booked for a few days? I’ll figure out how to change my oil and tires and tint my car’s windows myself. Strawberry season is still 4 months away? I’ll get a heat lamp setup and grow them myself. Friends can’t visit and help move furniture for a week? I’ll build a trolley out of some toy cars, tape, a chessboard, and do all the lifting myself.

This impatience is what made us design faster cars, faster computers, faster internet, faster communication, methods of growing food faster, of processing food faster, we’re always looking for the quickest and most efficient thing simply because we are not patient. 

Impatience leads to a type of creativity and persistence that patience just doesn’t have.

Imagine aliens starting to realize this.

“You got to your moon before you had developed LED screens??? You didn’t even have computers that could do basic math?!”
“Well, what else were we gonna do, sit around and wait?”

“Your planes don’t have gravitational control? Don’t you experience discomfort from the acceleration and directional changes?”
“Sure. But we needed to get on the other side of the planet in a decent amount of time.”
“So… what you’re articulating is that you’d rather have physical distress than have to have a long journey?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Human____, our mechanical teams will be on site in several of your earth hours, so we won’t be going anywhere until then.”
“Screw that. Where’s the manual for this thing? I bet I can fix it.”
“But you don’t have any mechanical training.”
“I also don’t feel like sitting around on this rock for ages.”

“You’re back already? I thought your medical representative told you to not be walking on that limb for another of your weeks.”
“Ugh. I just can’t anymore. I’ve got to get up and move and do something, anything.”
“But doesn’t that hurt to walk on?”
“…You would choose pain over waiting?”
“What can I say, I’m not a patient person.”

Like aliens just being baffled that humans would rather work hard or struggle with a problem or even experience pain and discomfort. They, as prey species, are used to just waiting it out. They don’t have the same impatience driving them to get up and go and to fight through things just because they can’t wait any longer.

Human: Ain’t nobody got time for that!
Alien: Why don’t you have time? Is something scheduled soon?
Human: No, I just don’t feel like wasting time.
Alien: But… it’s not wasted. It’s time well spent. And you do technically have the time to spare for that. If there’s nothing scheduled, then you do ‘got time for that’.
Human: No. No, I don’t. It’s just… no.



negative reviews about power rangers hurt my feelings personally and then i look and see it was written by a white dude and i know he’s just mad that it wasn’t a story all about white people, so with that in mind, here’s a list of why white nerdboys hate this movie and why you should go see it!! mild spoilers!!

  • only one white ranger (jason, red), and while he’s the leader, his screentime was not significantly greater than his teammates, nor was his background the most fleshed out. he also suffers real consequences for his poor choices instead of being let off with a slap on the wrist. 
  • half indian ranger (kimberly, pink) who makes a very bad choice that is very cruel, who is not coddled. she is told that her choice was bad, point blank, but that she can still be a good person. reformed mean girl!!! and she’s not a white blonde!!!
  • mexican ranger (trini, yellow) who is LGBT (we don’t know if she’s bi or a lesbian but i’m guessing she’s a lesbian).
  • chinese ranger (zack, black) who is bilingual, showing the struggles and pressures of a kid who is responsible for caring for a single parent who is sick and struggles financially.
  • black ranger (billy, blue) who is autistic, and actually says the words “i’m on the spectrum” in the film instead of dancing around it. is the heart and soul of the team, his friends treat him completely normally.
  • NO ROMANCE!!!! there are slight hints but seeing as the events of the film span roughly two weeks, the film is all about friendship and sacrifice and acceptance, not about teen love.
  • i’m dead serious go see this goddamn movie i cried like ten times and was absolutely amazed by how they took this cheesy little show from the 90s and gave it so much heart and love.

I loved this movie and go watch it!!!!

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Actually made an effort with my hair for the first time in over a year lol



Carrie is a better anti-bullying message than 13 Reasons Why because she didn’t mail passive aggressive cassette tapes around to people who were tangentially involved she just psychically killed everyone who had ever hurt her and blew up half the town

I thought u meant Carrie Fisher for a solid 30 seconds ngl

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get to know me meme: [4/5] favorite male characters →  Derek Hale (Teen Wolf)

“I might not be an Alpha, but I can still fight like one.“

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so at the bar in which I work, there’s an unofficial rule that all of our door staff must have names that start with D or rhyme with ‘doorman’, which has led to me befriending a trio of six foot four men with beards called Doorman Logan, Doorman Drew, and Doorman Dan. 

now, let me tell you now that Doorman Dan is the absolute love of my life. I don’t care that he’s a decade older than me and has a fiance. you know when someone is so extraordinary or impossible to define that they’re simply referred to as ‘a character’? that’s Doorman Dan. now, before I get into his personality, let’s describe his appearance. imagine the most stereotypical Scandinavian person ever: tall, white-blond, strong-jawed. now, add a heavy South Walian accent and an orange jumper.

that’s Doorman Dan. 

since meeting him last year, I’ve discovered:

  • he once had a dream that he had a tattoo that said ‘shit happens’ on his left arsecheek, so when he woke up he decided he had to fulfil the prophecy and got it tattooed on his arse by a bloke called Junkie Jeff at 9AM
  • he forgot to call his girlfriend for three months while he was in the army, and was completely unaware they had broken up until he wished her a happy Christmas and she responded with ‘what the fuck Dan’
  • accidentally married his army buddy in Vegas for thirty-six hours
  • he saw someone beating up a guy for being gay, and instead of jumping in and fighting back he decided to get absolutely bollock-naked and stand in front of the homophobe until he got freaked out and ran off
  • he has a millionare buddy who rings him up once a month for ‘mystery adventures’, one of which has resulted in Doorman Dan no longer being allowed inside any John Lewis shops
  • he is convinced the love of his life is not his fiancee, but a man named Ned. upon being asked who Ned is, he shrugged and responded with: “I’ll know when I meet him.”
  • he runs an Instagram account dedicated to his pet rabbits and refuses to let people into the bar unless they follow him
  • his fiancee booked a wedding venue before he even proposed. “I don’t even know if I’m invited, truth be told.”
  • when he caught a couple having sex in our loos, he didn’t want to intrude so he just gently knocked on the door and asked if they’d like a snack
  • he has created his own non-alcoholic cocktail called Doorman’s Sunrise because he feels left out being the only person on the dance floor without a drink when he’s patrolling the bar

I could honestly write a ten-season sitcom about him

I think this sit com should star Chris Hemsworth




werewolves are gay culture, whichever angle you look at it there’s nothing heterosexual about being a werewolf

…. How?

Let me explain:

Werewolves: gay

I hope that answers your questions, for more information please contact your local werewolf society.

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Sterek kisses :D

April 27 2017



what i mean when i say i want a villain to get a redemption arc: i hope this asshole sees the error in their ways and, after deep conflict, achieve forgiveness in a last final act to do good before dying painfully a-la anakin skywalker.

what i mean when i say i want a villain to turn into a good guy: i hope this douchebag sees the error in their ways and, after years of crawling for forgiveness and doing everything in their power to fix their wrongdoings, they truly turn to the light and dedicate themselves to a life of good a-la prince zuko.

what y’all mean when u say you want a villain to get redemption or turn into a good guy: i hope this pretty-faced asshole gets a slap on the wrist by the hero and can continue to be a douchebag but now with the narrative’s moral support.

#yesssssss #*embraces this post* #*romances this post* #*fucking marries this post* #also cough cough cough cough cough cough cough kent parson cough (via nyquildriver)


Imagine Stiles and Derek walking through Ikea and picking out the furniture for the newly renovated loft. Derek stops and stares at the desks. When Stiles asks why he’s taking so long, Derek replied, “I’m trying to work out which one you’d look better pinned against.”

April 26 2017







“I’m a doctor baby, I don’t have to resort to sucking guys off on the streets for cash like your ugly face” says someone who posts feet pictures per request

Does it bother you that my feet get more notes than your face? 😕

Darren you and i both know that your selfies don’t break 100 notes unless your dick print is showing so go ahead and shut that shit up

My dick prints, feet and face all get more notes than you tho hun. 😕

alright Darren. you tagged this with facts. and you know. i’m a stickler for the facts. so let’s just see something really quickly, shall we. i’m not one to play games of numbers but all in the name of facts!

take a look at this picture:

ooh! look at you getting 1,000 notes w/ your lil dickprint and such and your #gay hashtag. your best selfies tend to get around 1,000, and by best i mean those of you half dressed w/ your dick out bc pictures of your face, and just your face, never break 100.

now let’s look at this:


hm! do you? notice? a difference? between the numbers there? hm. oh! i noticed you posted serlfies today! let’s see how well those are doing:


oh look at you Darren! a nice 18! that’s pretty good! actually i posted selfies today as well. let’s see how well they’re doing:


wait, huh? there must be a decimal point in front of that number bc i could’ve SWORN you get more notes than me! and i did a quick lil search and it seems you have selfies on your blog that somehow manage to get less than 18! let’s see what has the lowest amount of notes in my me tag:


now Darren, i don’t know much about addition and subtraction. clearly i must not know much about facts either. it’s very obvious that i must’ve overlooked something. bc every single time i go back and read what you said about how your feet, dickprints, and face get more notes than just. pictures and gifs of me laughing and playing with my hair i’m always faced w/ the conundrum that it seems that even on my worst days? i still come out better than you? hm :/



can we just like romanticise being bare faced?? like really bare faced, not this “no makeup makeup look” shit like pls lets romanticise dark circles and acne and discolouration and redness and skin conditions and eyebags and oily skin and just regular old eyebrows and looking tired because I am tired stop treating these as things that take away from beauty and just celebrate them like jesus pls 

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im going to have a stroke

Instead try…

Person A: You know… the thing
Person B: The “thing”?
Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD

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“I almost got- Woah!”

“Stop twitching, Stiles.”

“Then stand still, Derek. I almost got it.”

“I will not catch you if you fall.”

“Rude. Why did I even decide to move in with you?”

“This is so awesome, I’m gonna show this video to the others later! Though you could have just taken the ladder that is standing literally two meters away from you.”

“Go away, Cora!” Stiles and Derek shout in unison.

Or “the time Derek and Stiles finally move in together, their dog is just being lazy, Stiles tries to change a light bulb and Cora is not being a help at all. And WHY are you guys still only wearing pants???”

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“I almost got- Woah!”

“Stop twitching, Stiles.”

“Then stand still, Derek. I almost got it.”

“I will not catch you if you fall.”

“Rude. Why did I even decide to move in with you?”

“This is so awesome, I’m gonna show this video to the others later! Though you could have just taken the ladder that is standing literally two meters away from you.”

“Go away, Cora!” Stiles and Derek shout in unison.

Or “the time Derek and Stiles finally move in together, their dog is just being lazy, Stiles tries to change a light bulb and Cora is not being a help at all. And WHY are you guys still only wearing pants???”

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Sterek College!AU: Stiles gets distracted during lacrosse practice. (1234)

April 25 2017

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